Crash

It's the sense of touch. In any real city, you walk, you know? You brush past people, people bump into you. Here, nobody touches you. We're always behind this metal and glass. I think we miss that touch so much, that we crash into each other, just so we can feel something.

I have always loved you
There's never been anyone else
I knew you before I knew myself
Oh my baby, I have always loved you
Years go by in a matter of days
And though we go separate ways
I never stop dreaming of you
I have always loved you.

Hero

Would you dance if I asked you to dance?
Would you run and never look back
Would you cry if you saw me crying
Would you save my soul tonight?

Would you tremble if I touched your lips?
Would you laugh oh please tell me these
Now would you die for the one you love?
Hold me in your arms tonight?

I can be you hero baby
I can kiss away the pain
I will stand by you forever
You can take my breath away

Would you swear that you'll always be mine?
Would you lie would you run away
Am I in to deep?
Have I lost my mind?
I don't care you're here tonight

I just want to hold you
Am I in too deep?
Have I lost my mind?
Well I don't care you're here tonight

You can take my breath my breath away
I can be your hero

You gotta be bad
You gotta be bold
You gotta be wiser
You gotta be hard
You gotta be tough
You gotta be stronger
You gotta be cool
You gotta be calm
You gotta stay together
All I know all I know is that love will save the day.

I like this line from the movie 'Perfect Score': You weren't good at being someone else's boyfriend, you were great being yourself.

Uh oh.

I have so many songs now thanks to Kamal! Haha yay.

Now I have alot of PS readings to cover and I haven't started! Uh oh. How now, brown cow?

But listening to so many of my once-favourite songs is making me happy. (:

Anything she can do I can do better.

You're superficial
I'm a misfit
But baby, that's ok.

Take your love and hit the road.

I want body art, piercings, wild, spiky hair.

Okay, seriously.

I want to have red highlights, pierce my bellybutton and maybe my nose, draw some nice pictures on my body.

Stand By Me

When the night has come
And the land is dark
And the moon is the only light we'll see
No I won't be afraid, no I won't be afraid
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh now now stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me

If the sky that we look upon
Should tumble and fall
And the mountains should crumble to the sea
I won't cry, I won't cry, no I won't shed a tear
Just as long as you stand, stand by me

And darlin', darlin', stand by me, oh stand by me
Stand by me, stand by me, stand by mee, yeah

Whenever you're in trouble won't you stand by me, oh now now stand by me
Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Darlin', darlin', stand by me-e, stand by me
Oh stand by me, stand by me, stand by me

Man I feel like mold -
It's prom night and I am lonely, lo and behold -
She's walking over to me, this must be fake,
My lip starts to shake.
How does she know who I am?
Why does she give a damn about me?

I've got two tickets to Iron Maiden, baby.
Come with me Friday, don't say maybe.
I'm just a teenage dirtbag, baby...like you. ooh.
ooh yeah...dirtbag.
No she doesn't know what she's missing.

Major talk-session in progress with Adi-wadi-lah. I feel soo much better now. All my girls, stand in a circle and clap your hands - this is for you. I love my bestie! Haha.

I'm glad I was in a girls' school for as long as I was. It was so much fun then - being in an all girls environment..not having to care about how you sit or where you change after PE and being able to scream and cheer your lungs out.

Rage, rage, against the dying of the light. Even our form teacher allied with us against some of the male teachers. Haha I'm currently updating amidst serving guests.

Ciaoz!

Go figure.

Damn! Why wasn't I at home when either Lulu or Este visited? :(

I'm still wowed by the movie 'Crash'. I suppose it shows the ugliness of Man and how we've all become so detached from each other. Of course to show the ugliness, the movie has to also show the beautiful aspects of the human spirit. What makes life worth living?

Apart from all that, the fact that I have alot of readings which I have! to! catch! up! on! and the fact that I'm very tired but there are alot more families coming tonight..I am very happy.

=)

I wanna learn all about chemistry
Won't you show me everything you've learned
I'll memorize everything you do to me so I can
Teach it when it comes my turn.

The Good Kind

Do you know I cry?
Do you know I die?
Do you know I cry?
And it's not the good kind.
No, it's not the good kind.
No, you're not the good kind.

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding,
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding.
There are many things that I would like to say to you -
But I don't know how.
Because maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me?
And after all, you're my wonderwall.


Remind me to live and to not just go through the motions of everyday life. I want to feel the fucking wind in my hair once again.

I think you're the same as me.
We see things they'll never see.
You and I are gonna live forever..we're gonna live forever.

Shahrul's a sweetheart. (: This was what came for me this morning at about 9am.

I love fresh flowers. I love him.

And he loves me too. So much that he's letting me do this.

I love it when they try to get scandalous even though they know they really can't handle it.

Desire me and know that you cannot have me.

I cannot be down listening to that song! And not when tomorrrow's Hari Raya. It's actually fun cleaning the house, shifting furniture, trying to get the cats to stay off the carpet. =D

Chak! BOO! Chak! BOO!

Ohhhh my God. Hahaha =)

I'll shine up my high-heeled shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.

The song is so catchy and infectious. It makes me feel like jumping on my bed and doing a silly, crazy dance. Pom poms? Why not? [Bon bons?] I want to do the dance Torrance did to the guy's demo.

=)

My cousin's first born. I cannot believe how tiny he is and how in love with him I am. =)

Take your sweet, sweet time..

I will be here when you change your mind
Take your sweet, sweet time
I will be here for you baby
Anytime

I'm feeling you pull away
'Cause letting go isn't easy for me
But you'll never fly
With someone else's wings, I know
Wherever you go

Yay! I just received two hari raya text messages. =)

I enjoyed Before Sunset more than I enjoyed Before Sunrise. Haha a closet romantic, ay? But really, I love the sequel more. It seems more real somehow..I guess because they're not as idealistic as before. The emotional connection between them is just so intense.

Anyhoo I'm happy. I think it's a feel-good movie [I guess it's just the happy feeling you get from seeing two people connect] and I just had a workout to Deja Vu and Run It so I think the endorphins are giving me a high. Yepps. And Hari Raya's coming! I love Hari Raya mornings - waiting for my dad to return from the mosque before having breakfast together as a family.

I shopped alot yesterday and Shah was surprisingly good company. He was so patient - even helping me compare shoes from different stores and trying to think of a good top to match my skirt. Haha thanks. =)

Past few days have been intense and not in a good way. I'll just sit back and take things one day at a time. So yes, dear friends, I'm happy. I'm relaxed and I'm more than content with my life - I'm happy. I think I tend to over-analyze my life, so much so that sometimes I forget to live it. I'm going to have to constantly remind myself to stop over-analyzing but it's okay. I'm a tough cookie. I'm good. =)

Also, from the number of hits this site has, and from all the talk I've been hearing..alot of people have been visiting my blog. I've never been a big fan of saying stuff like "It's my blog, I can say whatever I want" because I know that what's blogged is public, and what's public affects others. So yeah. I just want to say that I'm not bothered by the unwanted visits. I can't be bothered. Well, I care enough to post this paragraph in response but in general, I don't care. As Oprah said, "There's only one thing worse than being talked about..and that's not being talked about." =)

Sometimes I catch myself staring into space,
counting the hours until I get to see your face.

Auf Widersehen!

People can have an affair or even an entire relationship. They break up and move on like they would change random serials. I've never been able to forget anyone I've been with. Cause each person has their own specific qualities. You can never replace anyone. What's lost is lost.

Sounds familiar, huh?

All she could hear was her heartbeat and Pat Benatar warning her - Heartbreaker... love taker.

Finally he said, "You're not scared of me, are you, Victoria?"

"Scared?" she said, too loud, as if she were some parrot who could only mimic words. She shrugged, wishing she could say, No, I'm not scared of you. I'm scared of these feelings.

"Don't be scared." And he gave her that slow smile, the one she'd first seen at mini golf the night she'd celebrated her thirteenth birthday.

- Summer Sisters

My birthday is coming! =)

Kay I know it's a long way away but STILL. That once-in-a-lifetime date is looming! And you know what I really want for my birthday? Yepp, you know. I know you know because I've probably mentioned it before and really, I only want that. Yeah that. That that that! That.

I'm not making much sense, I know. But I really want that. That would be the best present ever because it would mean that you have actually listened to me. But I doubt anyone would give me that. Not now, anyway. But they're gorgeous and I want nothing but that.

Reallyy.

Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days.

Cos I'm drawn to this danger ohh and it's making me mad.

I'm sleepy. I just want to relax tonight. Sit outside, lounge around in the garden..play with my cats, write in my diary.

I'll keep you out of my dreams if you keep me out of yours. (:

Many faces I have seen
Many places I have been
Walked the deserts, swam the shores [Coming closer to you]
Many faces I have known
Many ways in which I've grown
Movin closer on my own [Coming closer to you]

Do that with me.

Now love's a broken record that's been skipping in my head,
I keep singing yesterday - why we have to play these games we play

I ain't tripping, I'm just missing you. You know what I'm saying, you know what I mean. Every now and then when I'm all alone, I'd be wishing that you would call me on the telephone. Say you want me back but you never do. I feel like such a fool, there's nothing I can do. I'm such a fool for you.

[A very random update.]

I suddenly feel very bleargh.

Maybe a greater thing will happen, maybe all will see. Maybe our love will catch like fire, as it burns through me.

What a beautiful smile, can you stay for a while?

My beautiful love..

Before Sunrise is one of the sweetest movies I have ever seen. Initially, honestly..I found it a tad boring but after a while, it was intriguing. Basically it's about how two people fall in love with each other after spending just one night together, talking.

It's a very..thinking movie. It's not like any other love story where you can sit back and enjoy the cliched plot. This one seems really like the conversation two people who don't know each other would really have.

On the way, there's the mutual sharing of hopes, jokes, dreams, worry and wonder. It's a day to linger in the memories. And a valentine to young love forever.

[Oh! The best part was that I actually understood abiit of the German phrases, lol.]

Feels like, I'm standing in a timeless dream
Of light mists, of pale amber rose
Feels like, I'm lost in a deep cloud of heavenly scent
Touching, discovering you

Those days, of warm rains come rushing back to me
Miles of windless, summer night air
Secret moments, shared in the heat of the afternoon
Out of the stillness, soft spoken words

I love you, always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere, I will be with you
Everyday, I will devour you
I love you, always forever
Near and far, closer together
Everywhere, I will be with you
Everyday, I will devour you

You've got, the most unbelievable
blue eyes I've ever seen
You've got, me almost melt away
As we lay there, under a blue sky
with pure white stars
Exotic sweetness, a magical time

Say you'll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything

Say you'll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything

Say you'll love, love me forever
Never stop, not for whatever
Near and far and always and
everywhere and everything

Smack that -

There is no secret to letting your little light shine. You were born shining. You are a star. You have stardust in your DNA that came down through the eons to you from what scientists call the "big bang" way back when our universe began beginning - and so shining is your cosmological heritage. It is neither your fault nor to your great credit. It is your nature. And within you is the potential for greatness - your own particular kind of greatness. So letting your little light shine is just a matter of being true to yourself. It is not rocket science - it's doing what comes naturally to you.

How come everytime you come around,
My London, London bridge, wanna go down like -

Hey ho! Guess who finally has internet access again! Haha

It's been fun having Adilah bunk in with me at my cousin's apartment. She's so nice by the way! Stocked up the fridge with pizza, chocolate chip cookies [which we finished], juices, chocolates and ice cream! =)

But this can't keep up or we'll both get very fat, what with Fong Seng just across the road and the discovery of banana cheese prata. Haha.

I ordered the brownie cake from a booth at the bazaar in the forum just now. Hopefully my mom'll like the mini-surprise. Hehe..it's fun surprising people and seeing their reactions.

I want to shop tomorrow. I want to buy the Strawberry bath wash from BodyShop and try to find the Vanilla one. Next to my cousin's bathtub was so many nice&yummy-sounding bubble bath washes which she got from Marks and Spencers. I waanttt!

And I'm so hungryy. I can't wait to finally eat home-cooked food again. This year is the first time ever [barring prom] I buka-ed outside. It's not that fun. My sisters used to buka outside alot and I used the be the only one stuck at home, wishing I could actually buka outside. Now that I can, I realize that the grass isn't always greener on the other side.

Also, I cannot wait to have Shahrul back. Been having so many girl-talk sessions with Adilah which helped me vent what I'm feeling. Hudy and Liza's boyfriends will be entering NS next year. Shahrul has a little left to go before commissioning. And in two years time, he'll be joining me. Am I happy? Honestly? It's hard hanging on. Sometimes I think too much about things then I remember his face at a particular moment or something especially sweet and caring that he's done for me and then I remember that it's all worth it.

It's easy to question a relationship. Don't judge me for that. But when you start questioning it and at the same time, you're still hanging on, that's when I hope you realize that deep inside - you know that what you have is worth hanging on for.

[From Meghna's blog:]

"Just because you can't say something doesn't mean you don't want to, you can want to very much. You can be with a person and be happy with them, and not love them, or you can love someone and not want to be with them. You don't need to love someone...to want them.

Well, it's frustrating.

When what your brain tells you what you want and what you actually want dont match up, it's exhausting. And it's complicated. Well, that's life and life...sucks."

-Grey's Anatomy

And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok -
Yeah I try to believe you,
But I don't.

Give me a little time,
Leave me alone for a little while,
Maybe it's not too late -
not today, today, today, today, today.

I'm feeling very very tired right now. There's so many chapters to study for Econs! So many that I don't know where to start. Hmmmm.

Studies aside, I feel confused all over again. But it's for a different reason this time. This time it's the 'cookie dough' thing that I'm facing. I don't know. Maybe it'll get better soon. Hopefully.

I reallyyy want to go to the beach. I really really want to blade then find a quiet spot to clear my mind.

And I know, I'm not ready. Maybe tomorrow.

I don't want to be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately
All I have to do is think of me and I have peace of mind.

Oh I found myself and ran away.

I wish Shahrul was in NUS already. I can't wait for him to experience all that I'm experiencing, to make new friends and discover new things. It's so much fun to have the same circle of friends, to enjoy doing things in a group together. We never really had that.

Damn NS for taking my boyfriend away from me.

He just called me and halfway through the conversation asked me to check Soccernet for him. Haha, some things will never change.

Raise your voice.

So I won't give up
No I won't break down
Sooner than it seems life turns around
And I will be strong
Even if it all goes wrong
When I'm standing in the dark I'll still believe
Someone's watching over me.

Private Emotion

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
And it shines on you baby can't you see
You're the only one who can shine for me

It's a private emotion that fills you tonight
And a silence falls between us
As the shadows steal the light
And wherever you may find it
Wherever it may lead
Let your private emotion come to me
Come to me

When your soul is tired and your heart is weak
Do you think of love as one way street
Well it runs both ways, open up your eyes
Can't you see me here, how can you deny

Every endless night has a dawning day
Every darkest sky has a shining ray
It takes a lot to laugh as your tears go by
But you can find me here till your tears run dry

Today after buka, I read through my diary. The written one.

So many entries, so many thoughts, so many emotions.

Can't believe I encountered all that and I can't believe how funny I sounded trying to give both sides of a story and trying to see things from a different perspective. Of course, it all seems so silly now.

Silly but funny and heartwarming. (:

I wonder if Shahrul is making 'water bombs' right now.

From the number of times I've updated my blog today, well..you can really see how very bored I am.

Last night was fun eating the peach strudel at Ritz. Thanks for introducing us to the place, Shaza! Haha the place itself was very nice too. Despite being beside the road, it had a very relaxing atmosphere. Felt like I could have stayed there for almost forever. =)

I like to feel his eyes on me when I look away.

I have yet to find my baju raya.

I want to star-gaze.

I want a picnic under the stars. Eat lasagna, strawberries, peaches and sit barefoot on a blanket under the stars. [okay i'll add a moon in my daydream for shaza!]

I want to go for Starlight Cinema. Even though my friends who went before didn't really like it, I just want to.

Okay? =)

I've seen it all
It was never enough
It keeps leaving me needing you ~*

I just checked IVLE and...

BHAM! 2 upcoming German tests.

I can't believe I didn't learn my lesson after being free of Malay. Heh.

I see you, the only one who knew me
But now your eyes see through me
I guess I was wrong.

Runaway train never going back
Wrong way on a one way track
Seems like I should be getting somewhere
Somehow I'm neither here nor there

Can you help me remember how to smile
Make it somehow all seem worthwhile
How on earth did I get so jaded
Life's mystery seems so faded

I can go where no one else can go
I know what no one else knows
Here I am just drownin' in the rain
With a ticket for a runaway train

The predator:


The unsuspecting prey:

Shaza sent me an email. So sweet of her. Haha..I'm lucky to have them. =)

I feel very confused. Have been feeling very confused these past few days. But for some reason, I feel so much better tonight. I feel like I just want to be alone to sort out everything that has been going on - sometimes, my life revolves too fast for my own good - but at the same time, I feel as though everything will turn out all right in the end and that I don't have to be sad anymore. =)

I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I've not yet become a cookie for whoever it is, to eat me.

Girl, put your records on.

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon -
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sombre and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the road side,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Gotta love that afro hairdo.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Just more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer.
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

Iris

And I'd give up forever to touch you
Cause I know that you feel me somehow
You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be
And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
Cause sooner or later it's over
I just don't want to miss you tonight

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming
Or the moment of truth in your lies
When everything seems like the movies
Yeah you bleed just to know your alive

And I don't want the world to see me
Cause I don't think that they'd understand
When everything's made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am

And we will only need each other, we'll bleed together -
Our hands would not be taught to hold another's
Cause we are the special two.

** the story of kambing and katak ** says:
i just thought, hey its 1 wk already
** the story of kambing and katak ** says:
and shahira still hasn't complained much
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
i'm complaining now
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
=(
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
when i hear his voice..it feels like my heart is gonna break..i just miss him so much.

Of surprises and happy endings (:

It was an impromptu birthday surprise for the original babe giler herself - Huda! We surprised her at TJ, in the library with the help of Azimah and Nur.

Were so excited when we reached TJ that we couldn't keep still. Azimah met us outside the library and Nur's job was to distract her so that she couldn't see us coming up the stairs. Nur's distraction was really really good - Huda's back was turned when we crept up behind her and when she saw us, she screamed [luckily it wasn't so loud!] and started to tear up. After all the hugs were exchanged, we went down to the Scope to watch Stay Alive. (:

Those two were very funny. Kept screaming while watching the movie. I'd watched it the night before and they were like, "Will she die? Okay no, don't tell me. No wait. Will she die?!" and "She can't die! She can't die!" and finally..."Oh no! She died..that's so sad." Hahahahaha.

But yeah. It was an awesome day. After the movie we sat on the stage opposite the hawker center and had a ball of a time just talking and cracking jokes. An absolute must to do this again.

All my girls, stand up in a circle and clap your hands this is for you -
Ups and downs, highs and lows no matter what you see me through.

I can't read you, I wish I knew what's going through your mind.
Can't touch you - your heart's protected..I get left behind.

Not Afraid

Driving down the one way road
Some courage and the radio
We're driving 'til our eyes can't see
Tonight we'll leave this world behind
No traffic lights and no stop signs
Tonight the road is all we need

We're not afraid, we're not alone
We're just losers on this open road
Can't go back, can't go home
Til we find what we're living for
Is there something good, and something more,
Is there anything worth dying for?
Tonight, you're all that I need

This highway's full of burned out cars
Broken dreams and broken hearts
This highway is a wrecking ball
Oh
Tonight's a long, long way from home
These headlights shine on broken bones
Tonight we need some new heroes

We're not afraid, we're not alone
We're just losers on this open road
Can't go back, can't go home
Til we find what we're living for
Is there something good, and something more,
Is there anything worth dying for?
Tonight, you're all that I need

Oh,
Something good, something more,
Something that's worth dying for
We wanted more; we wanted this
We wanted the simple things I guess I guess, I guess
It's like the stars are falling out, it's like the sky hits the ground
It's like the wind that is calm;
It's like an earthquake and it makes no sound
But, we're there, we're almost there

Something about yesterday night,
Keeps replaying over, over, over.
You are the sweetest wine,
and I'm just a cup running over and over again.
Because you've got that something,
something that's just like me.
I can't put my finger on it..this chemistry,
We agree.

Yesterday I met Alvin at TM. He's so funny! I was leaning against the wall, waiting for my sis when I got his sms: Are you wearing pink and standing in TM? So I called him and told him I wasn't wearing pink but red.

We met up. Had so much fun talking! It was full of crap, jokes about racism, recalling some of our old friends and bringing back the old memories. Fuuh! First three months in TJ was fun fun fun!

Of course, even then, I skipped everything. Hahah I remember being in the MCS room, playing chess with Izzat [and winning..over and over again..haha!], dance practices which were alot of fun because of all the merepek moments and skipping lessons!

Yay. Darren's sending me alot of songs. Haha =)

sha says:
eh! lets form a small group...
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
u borrow his car
sha says:
then we go jalan jalan cari makan..
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
yeah
sha says:
borrow??
sha says:
hahhaha
sha says:
he let ke?
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
haha just take ah
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
then run
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
eh no need
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
just drive
[no mes puedo controlar] says:
then let him run

Honey grilled chicken!

Courtesy of my sis. =)

---

Happy fasting, y'all!